Monday, June 18, 2012

Load of crap

Well... Hmmm... Ummm... How do I start this? This is my first blog post since Mom passed away. And in my last blog post she was getting all prettied up in honor of her grandkids' dance recital. We were planning what we were going to do when she got out of the hospital- talking about going shopping for dresses and planning a beach trip. Talking about how she was sad she was going to miss the recital but we would have a special viewing party whenever the recital video was complete. We were also talking about how she was going to feel better by the time the baby was born so she could come stay with me for a while & teach me how to do this mom thing. This is all still so unreal and hard to wrap my mind around. No words will do this justice but I feel the need to keep the blog going. It just really sucks that I will write my blog posts and then I won't receive messages like the ones below. Man this sucks! What a load of crap. This has been the tag line amongst the family ever since Mom passed. It's just the only way to describe it. We think it's funny because the most proper Cossette is the one to coined the phrase... so it makes us giggle. Sweet sweet Holly (she got the Cossette name by marriage - man we're lucky). Even her kids have caught on... Our pastor gave a sermon on sustaining grace and saving grace just 2 Sundays ago (how fitting- I bawled the entire time), and Holly was asking the girls a few days later if they understood the difference in the two types of grace. Holly was reminding them that saving grace is God's way of providing a way for us to Heaven, and sustaining grace is how God helps us get through... "things that are like a load of crap?" --one of the girls piped in. Yes, girlies, that's exactly what sustaining grace helps us through. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 NIV).

Yes, Justin is like my Dad. Solid as a rock & silly at the same time. Thanks for teaching me how to recognize a good man, Mom. :)

My feelings would get hurt if I thought Mom wasn't reading - but I was also on hormones and my feelings would get hurt by a lot of things... I guess mom knew that and wanted to make sure I knew she was reading.




She was pretty excited. "Yiipeeeeeeee!!!!!"

I have to read this over and over again. Yes, GOD KNOWS BEST. Mom's gone to Heaven. For a reason. For HIS reason. And I have to find comfort in that. Maybe one day I'll understand that reason but for now I have to trust & have faith.


And sometimes it makes me feel just a little bit better just to say THIS IS SUCH A LOAD OF CRAP!


Posted by at

5 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 19, 2012 at 3:43 AM

    Jessica, I think I speak for the village when I say, we totally agree, this is a total load of crap, but we are here for you guys, for whatever we can do. Our priests at Saint Eugene's, their congregation motto, if that's the proper term, is "one heart, one soul," and we share your grief, and your belief that maybe one day we will all understand God's reasons, but for now we just have to trust and have faith. We love you guys so much! Gail

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ben and AlyJune 19, 2012 at 5:26 AM

    "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” 2 Chronicles 20:12.

    Praying for you Jessica. We lifted you up on Sunday morning during small group , praying specifically for you. This is one of those times where we want to yell at God that it isn't fair. Especially now, especially when you are pregnant with this little one. And it's not. It is a big load of crap, I agree. And it's okay to feel angry - I think sometimes as Christians we have a hard time acknowledging that we are angry. I love the examples of humanity among God's people in the Bible.
    Ezekiel 3:14 "I felt bitter and angry" (prophet Ezekiel).
    2 Samuel 13:36 "David and his officials also cried bitterly." (King David - the man after God's own heart)
    2 Kings 20:3 " Remember, Lord, that I have served you faithfully and loyally and that I have always tried to do what you wanted me to. And he began to cry bitterly." (King Hezekiah - one of Israels Godly kings)
    Job 7:11 "I am angry and bitter" but after the trials.. after time he looks back and says" I know, Lord, that you are all-powerful; that you can do everything you want...... In the past I knew only what others had told me, but now I have seen you with my own eyes." Job 42

    And this is only a few... He will sustain you, the same God that rejoices over us with singing.

    Zephaniah 3:17(NIV) The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

    The same God who loved us so much that he bruised His own son, to give us hope for tomorrow.
    Isaiah 53:5 (Good News Translation)
    But because of our sins he was wounded,
    beaten because of the evil we did.
    We are healed by the punishment he suffered,
    made whole by the blows he received.


    Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jennifer Cossette ThomasJune 19, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    I should have listened and not read this while I was at work! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I love you and it is still A LOAD OF CRAP, but in a few weeks, I will be able to roll with you in the LOAD of CRAP!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 19, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    Try to keep comfort in the Lord. He does know best.... and keep writing it will help. I know its beyond difficult but your mom would want you to be excited and all wrapped up in all that is "baby". We are all here for you and your family love and hugs! Ronda

    ReplyDelete
  5. SaraJune 20, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    who knew that something as stupid as facebook could bring your mom's words back to you. what a blessing.

    i wish i was there when holly announced that this was a load of crap, because i bet it was really funny and i bet it felt good to smile.

    still praying for you to hold on to as much peace as possible and focus on becoming PARENTS soon!! woot woot.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)