Thursday, February 13, 2014

17 weeks and counting!


2/13/14

So I've been on a blogger blackout. 1st trimester was rough! So sick and so tired through the 16 week mark. We were also crazy busy moving out of our first house, into my dad's house, searching for a home, birthdays, Christmas, anniversary, finding and closing and moving into our dream home! Oh and working too... Oh and taking care if a one year old. I seriously know that it will only be by the grace of God if we ever get anywhere we are supposed to be - much less on time - when the 2nd baby comes! I'm so happy to have found our new house but was so blessed to have my dad to play with Marshall in the mornings while I got my sick self ready for work! Anyway, the big baby updates are that the baby has had a healthy ultrasound and heartbeat checks. Marshall is a walking/talking machine and a total bookworm. We are snowed in today so that will give us a chance to snuggle and do some unpacking in between. Big gender reveal is next week!

10 week ultrasound 

Show me your surprised face!!!
15/16 weeks

New house in a new snow!


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

First ultrasound

11/27/13

Yesterday was a scary day for me. I noticed spotting early in the day and freaked out! I contacted the nurse who told me that I shouldn't worry unless it's bright red. I still worried. And worried. And worried. But The Lord is my helper and He let me rest after I read several passages about anxiety. 

But here's the good stuff... Ultrasound revealed a healthy little peanut! Just one! We both were sort of excited about the possibility of twins but we also know that God knows best and will only give us what we can handle.

Tomorrow is thanksgiving and we are going to reveal the news to the family! We can't wait!

Saturday, November 16, 2013

2nd hcg test

11/16/13

We tested again on Wednesday and my hcg more than doubled so I'm definitely preggers! Our first ultrasound is on 11/26. I'm having a hard time deciding how long to wait to tell everyone. It's kind of killing me!

Monday, November 11, 2013

The results are in...

11/11/13

I had my first hcg test today at 9 & nurse Terry called me at 11:45 with the results! We are pregnant! Hcg level is in the 100s... I honestly didn't hear her correctly, I was too excited. :) I go back Wednesday for a second test then a couple weeks later we will have an ultrasound & learn how many babies I'm carrying. Below are some fun pics from transfer day. The first one is a shot of our babies after they took them from the vial. The next one is the vial in which they lived for the last couple of years, and the third is a close up... Look very closely and the end of the metal at the very thin loop- that is exactly where our babies hung out! Crazy!

Friday, November 1, 2013

Transfer day!

11/1/13

Here we go again! Acupuncture at 9, transfer at 10:15, and then another acupuncture session at 11! Praying not to be anxious. A friend made a great post on Facebook the other day about how God wants us to be Holy more than he wants us to be happy and once we realize that, we can feel God's presence through every struggle. Good good point that I definitely needed to hear.
Justin is working today and that's a huge bummer since I always imagined my husband would be in the room with me anytime I tried to get pregnant. 

Side Note: This whole keeping this a secret thing is getting harder and harder! First, Justin can't make it, then Justin's parents get called into work and can't watch Marshall today. Jeff's family is coming down with something otherwise Vanessa would watch him. Dad is now going to watch Marshall- I have full faith that Dad knows what he's doing but I'm sure Marshall will do everything in his power to wear him out! Holly is able to pick up Marshall this afternoon to relieve Dad a bit. I sure hope the big reveal is worth it! :)

Saturday, October 26, 2013

1st progesterone shot, 1st breakdown

10/26/13

Wow... Up until this point I was totally convinced we (I) could handle this process like pros! I mean, we are established parents now, we've been through the intense process of IVF, and an FET cycle is nothing compared to having to grow and fertilize eggs. 

WRONG. Something about preparing for this first injection just broke something inside of me. The stress of trying to remember what the nurse said and knowing that everything has to be perfect finally took a toll. 

God, I need you. Even when I think I know what I'm doing. Especially when I think I know what I'm doing - when my pride is in control and my guard is down - thank you for reminding me to look to You for strength. Thank you even though those reminders can come in the form of stress, pain or anxiety. Help me to recognize my need for you sooner.

Whew. With that being said, the first injection is out of the way and that means countdown to transfer is officially on! And yes, this process is way different than IVF, but it doesn't make it any less taxing. Still thankful for my patient, kind and loving husband to share this with.

2nd u/s

10/26/13


My lining is "lovely, ya big show off", said the nurse. :)
And when I got my labs back my estrogen and progesterone are exactly where they are supposed to be. Today, Justin will give me my first progesterone shot and I will begin methylprednisolone and baby aspirin... Fun times!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Work-Life Balance?

10/24/13


So my transfer is tentatively scheduled for 10/31 and my progesterone injections in the upper right quadrant of my buttocks are scheduled to begin tomorrow (Justin is my administrator 😜). I was just notified today that I will be in a training from 8:30-5 M-Th of next week (10/28-10/31). Justin also has to work at the museum until 10pm tomorrow night (kinda hard to give me a shot from Wilson). 

All of the above = scheduling conflicts with getting knocked up. Building our family is priority; however, we are both at pretty crucial moments in our careers. UGH. I don't think this internal guilt-battle ever ends for parents, working or not. So, I called the fertility nurse who let me know that we can shift the transfer to 11/1 which would mean we also have to shift the progesterone shots to begin Saturday instead of tomorrow. This solves my training problem as well as Justin's 10pm workday problem, but creates a problem for the transfer day because Justin cannot be there due to having all-day programs to facilitate. Technically he doesn't have to be there for the transfer but I always envisioned that my husband would be in the room with me whenever I got pregnant (lol). Ya can't win 'em all I guess.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Lining check

10/19/13

Yesterday I had a lining check and a blood draw for estrogen. Everything looks good so far! Meanwhile, we celebrated Marshall's 1st birthday today! Exciting emotional stuff! 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Day 1 of Meds

Today I began taking my estrogen pills... 1 pill, 3 times a day forever... Or until they tell me to stop. Pretty pumped up about it & I'm positive life is not slowing down so this is all going to happen before I know it. Much like the entire first year of Marshall's life! 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Getting ready...

10/10/13

Long time no write! Been busy with a crazy growing-way-too-fast baby! Marshall is almost 1 now and is saying words like mama, dada, ball, dog, bye-bye, among many words spoken in his native tongue. He is also a warp-speed crawler who has ventured a few steps here and there. Watch out world! 

Well... Since Marshall is so amazing, he has tricked us into wanting another baby! So here we go again! Well, we don't have to go down the exact same path as last time because we have some frozen kidsicles waiting for us. We
Had our nurse class last week on 10/3 and I took my last birth control pill on Tuesday! I am going to continue to write blogs but I will not publish them until we have shared the news with our family. We thought it would be do to treat this like a "normal" pregnancy and wait a while to surprise everyone with the news. So, if you are reading this then it's at least December and I have at least one bun in my oven!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Birth Story

We took a birthing course at Rex hospital and the instructor asked that we email our birth stories out to the class... here is my email along with some sweet pics!

Hi everyone!
Marshall Isaiah White was born on 10/19/12 @ 11:06 pm. 6 lbs, 11oz & 19/25 inches long. (On his due date!!!)
 
My water broke early that morning (about 4:15 am). I had been to the doctor several times that week and had already asked tons of questions, including how quickly I should race to the hospital if my water breaks at home. I'm glad I asked those questions because it helped me not to spaz out on the actual day. We took showers,made sure we had everything packed, ate some breakfast, then called the doctor, then our parents. Everyone else on our huge list got a mass text.

Once we got to the hospital, we were told it was a very busy delivery night/day and we got the last available bed! When the nurse came to check me, I failed the amniotic fluid test and they talked about how it might be a false alarm... I was thinking "there is NO WAY that was a false alarm!!!" My water must have broken toward the top because there was a dry spell for a moment. By the time the doctor got there, we were in full-fledged water mode again and there was no question. At that point it was somewhere between 8 & 9am and I had not started contracting on my own yet.  They started pitocin and my contractions began and were 1-3 minutes apart the whole time. By 2 or 3pm I asked for some Stadol which definitely took the edge off - still felt the contractions but didn't seem to mind as much and I could actually relax in between them. By this point I think I was talking about an epidural with the doctor and nurse but they really encouraged me to hold off as long as possible just because I was not dilating and they were thinking it could be well into the next day before I had the baby. Well - I couldn't wait too long and asked for the epidural around 5 or 6 - and let me tell you, that anesthesiologist was there lickety-split! The epidural worked so well that I couldn't even move my right leg! We stayed on the pitocin for the next few hours, but as the pitocin went up, Marshall's heartbeat went down. They would stop the pitocin for a while until the baby's heartbeat would level out, then they would start the pitocin up again. They were trying to get me to dilate but I never got past 4 centimeters. After the first time the heartbeat problem happened, the doctor started hinting at the possibility of a cesarean. I was fine with whatever they had to do as long as I got a baby by the end of it. Around 10pm, the doctor came back in and talked about how I was not progressing and the baby wasn't dropping, so he felt like we wouldn't get much farther on the path we were on. My literal response was "let's get this party started". I was ready for the c-section and to meet my baby! Before I knew it, I was on the table with a room FULL of people who were going to operate on me. (Such a helpful part of class when we walked through what a c-section might be like!) I wasn't really nervous until I was on the table with the curtain up. They make the daddies change into scrubs in another room and don't call them back in until they are sure you are numb and ready. I kept asking for him, I was afraid it would be over before he was there! Before Justin got there to comfort me, there was the absolute nicest anesthesiologist leaning over my head with his eyeballs like 2 inches away from mine (that's all I could see of his face) talking me through everything. He was just wonderful! Once Justin came in, it was a matter of minutes for us to meet Marshall. The doctor and my anesthesiologist friend talked us through every step of what was happening. I remember hearing several scissor snipping noises when they weren't talking us through anything and I was wondering what was going on. But then, we heard this scratchy little crying noise! It was our son! I could never begin to do that feeling any justice by typing words to describe it. They showed us the baby really quickly then whisked him away to the room next door to get cleaned up and measured. When they called Justin back to be there for that, he was up and moving so fast that he nearly kicked over the chair he was sitting on! After what seemed like an eternity, he came back with our baby! Unbelievable, indescribable feeling!

Come to find out, it is a really good thing that we didn't try much longer to have a vaginal birth. Marshall was not directly down into my pelvis, he was a little crooked and getting caught, so that's why I wasn't dilating.... he just couldn't get down there. Also, he was "sunny side up" - he was face up instead of down. And the scariest thing of all - the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 4 times - that's what all the snipping was all about. The moral of this story is - birth plan, shmirth plan - it's nice to have your desires in the back of your mind, but it's important to go in knowing that the medical staff is going to recommend what they view to be the best possible course of action for you and your child.

I can't wait to read all of your stories! You are in for an amazing treat. It's hard work being pregnant and waiting to meet your child... even harder work going through labor... and then the first weeks of their lives are even harder with lack of sleep and worrying if you're doing everything right. But it's all so worth it when they have an exam and the pediatrician tells you that they are healthy and growing well.

PS - the staff at Rex is great and very helpful. Use the nursery if you can, even if it's for just a 30 minute nap.. YOU WILL NEED IT!!!! :)

Best wishes!!
Justin, Jessica & Marshall

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Baby Showers!

BLOG CATCH-UP TIME! My goodness... pregnancy makes you tired? Lazy? Crazy? I don't know, but there is a lot to talk about so this is going to be a long one... here goes!

BABY SHOWER #1:
Very sweet sisters and friends threw this shower for us. It was at Jason & Holly's house. So much fun, so many loving people and Marshall got the hook-up. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Auntie Nikki got the games going...
 All the little girlies were very interested!
Fun owl cake!
 My sister Jennifer made this fruit baby! Isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen!?!!

Aunt Holly, Mrs. Patsy and cousin Vaiden all prepping for the party:
Lots of cute owl bags! 
 Precious gift from precious Cassandra.
 Pretty decorations from Aunt Vanessa!
And I don't have a good picture of Sara but she was a big part of throwing this sweet shower too!

Baby Shower #2: This was a small shower in Charlotte, thrown by my college friends. So sweet!
Marbee made some amazing brunch food... 
 The girls got us some very precious gifts...
 First , the decor looked like this:
 Then they switched it... hehehe...



Sweet friends!



 Baby Shower #3
My Co-Workers tricked me into thinking we were about to go into a meeting, but then we went to Maggiano's instead! It was a delicious lunch and they presented me with a gift card to Target that will be so helpful.

Marshall, Justin and I are very blessed and feel very loved! Can't wait to meet our sweet boy!

More posts to come re: Marshall's room, baby classes, etc... :) Thanks for reading!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Frozen baby update

This is a fun letter to get in the mail. I still shake my head and think 'what a weird concept'! Luckily our out of pocket costs have been really low so far in comparison to other families. (Thanks be to GOD for providing my job with amazing benefits.) But this is like a $175 increase from the price we were quoted during our retrieval process! We will happily pay it just because you can't put a price on family but the first thing I said to Justin when he asked "didn't they tell us it was going to be $300 a year?" was "it doesn't matter; people are so desperate to have a family that they will pay whatever it takes."

Friday, July 27, 2012

Sweet Cousins

Marshall is so lucky to have a bajillion loving cousins. Check this sweet scene out. They are feeling him kick!!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Today was a good day

Today, my sister and sister-in-law went to buybuybaby with me to ensure I had the right stuff on my registry. I'm so grateful for Jennifer & Holly. They helped so much by sharing their mommy insight and having fun with all the baby stuff. They even stayed after I had to leave for work to finish scanning stuff in. In hindsight I wonder if it truly was a good idea to let my prankster sister hold the gun... Plaster belly cast, anyone?

Anyway, after that fun adventure I worked a looooooong day and then came home to a bunch of gifts from my coworker Megan! She totally hooked Marshall up!

Definitely feeling loved. Today was a good day.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Mommy

I was just thinking about how many times a day I say "mommy" now. Just "mommy". Either out loud or in my head. Every time I'm sad. If an image of that last week pops into my mind. If
I think of something she said to me or did for me at one point and wish I would have told her how much it meant to me. If I think of something stupid I did at one point and I want to apologize. Just "mommy" is all that comes out. Funny thing is, I don't actually recall a time in my life where I called my mom "mommy"- even when I was little. I really only started calling her that when she got sick. "My poor mommy." or "My pretty mommy." Wonder where that came from? And now all I think about is how I'm going to be a mommy...

I promise I'll get some good news posts going soon....

Monday, June 18, 2012

Load of crap

Well... Hmmm... Ummm... How do I start this? This is my first blog post since Mom passed away. And in my last blog post she was getting all prettied up in honor of her grandkids' dance recital. We were planning what we were going to do when she got out of the hospital- talking about going shopping for dresses and planning a beach trip. Talking about how she was sad she was going to miss the recital but we would have a special viewing party whenever the recital video was complete. We were also talking about how she was going to feel better by the time the baby was born so she could come stay with me for a while & teach me how to do this mom thing. This is all still so unreal and hard to wrap my mind around. No words will do this justice but I feel the need to keep the blog going. It just really sucks that I will write my blog posts and then I won't receive messages like the ones below. Man this sucks! What a load of crap. This has been the tag line amongst the family ever since Mom passed. It's just the only way to describe it. We think it's funny because the most proper Cossette is the one to coined the phrase... so it makes us giggle. Sweet sweet Holly (she got the Cossette name by marriage - man we're lucky). Even her kids have caught on... Our pastor gave a sermon on sustaining grace and saving grace just 2 Sundays ago (how fitting- I bawled the entire time), and Holly was asking the girls a few days later if they understood the difference in the two types of grace. Holly was reminding them that saving grace is God's way of providing a way for us to Heaven, and sustaining grace is how God helps us get through... "things that are like a load of crap?" --one of the girls piped in. Yes, girlies, that's exactly what sustaining grace helps us through. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 NIV).

Yes, Justin is like my Dad. Solid as a rock & silly at the same time. Thanks for teaching me how to recognize a good man, Mom. :)

My feelings would get hurt if I thought Mom wasn't reading - but I was also on hormones and my feelings would get hurt by a lot of things... I guess mom knew that and wanted to make sure I knew she was reading.




She was pretty excited. "Yiipeeeeeeee!!!!!"

I have to read this over and over again. Yes, GOD KNOWS BEST. Mom's gone to Heaven. For a reason. For HIS reason. And I have to find comfort in that. Maybe one day I'll understand that reason but for now I have to trust & have faith.


And sometimes it makes me feel just a little bit better just to say THIS IS SUCH A LOAD OF CRAP!


Sunday, April 29, 2012

Makeup Artist

Whew! Busy weekend for my avocado (that's the size right now) and me! And a ton of other mommies too! My nieces' dance recital was this weekend and I get the honor of doing their makeup each year. It's so much fun especially because it gives me a chance to get super close to their sweet faces! Unfortunately the warden wouldn't let Mom outta jail to go but she wanted to "look cool like the girls" so I gave her a recital-esque makeover as well.

I'm so proud of the girls and how hard they work! They are really great dancers. One really special part was the daddy-daughter dance Jason got to do with Emily. Precious! Gave me a chance to daydream about what life with kids will be like and of course blubber a little over the thought. :-)